Be happy anyway

Last year, my wife and I hired a contractor to demolish and rebuild a dilapidated house we had bought.
We did the maths and took out a mortgage with a bank to cover the remaining costs. That's how the world works nowadays, I guess.
Even then, we chose not to complete the full interiors because it would be beyond our budget. I'll do the work myself or with a little help here and there in the years to come.

As soon as the work started, things didn't go very well with the contractor.
Before signing the contract, we agreed that I wanted to be included in the decision-making process and kept informed about the schedule, etc.
Nobody contacted me. I always have to be the one to call them and ask to meet, etc.

Every time we have to choose colors or things like that, we are always in a hurry because they call us with very little notice.
I even designed the inner walls because our architect wanted to draw them on site in one afternoon. It took me several evenings and like seven iterations to find a solution that I'm proud of. How could we have done that in a single afternoon?

The work is still ongoing, and I'm totally drained of energy because I live in a state of alert. I'm constantly keeping an eye on the construction to make sure that things are going in the direction we want.
All of this while I keep up with my full-time job.
I feel the pressure, but I'm willing to live with it.
A mistake left uncorrected now could be an annoying thing for years to come.

Last weekend was particularly stressful because I did some work by myself to save up, which didn't interfere with the contractor's schedule in any way. But he wasn't happy about it.
He obviously wanted to do it himself and charge us for it (it’s fair). But we can't afford those additional costs.
So, we have to adapt and postpone that work until after we move in, even if that means living with the inconvenience of a house that's still under construction.

A couple of days after that, during a stress relief run, I realized that I just have to be grateful for what I have and stop trying to finish everything before allowing myself to be happy.
I was spending the same amount of mental energy on every single detail.
It's ok to keep negotiating about the work we have agreed on, but it's not necessary to do all the work now.
A lot of families renovate their homes over time. So we can do it too when we have the opportunity.
Fine. We can deal with it.

I have to be happy.
We are going to have our dream house.
We are going to spend our lives here.
This should be a terrific accomplishment.
I want it to be like that.
And I have to work on staying positive.